I love the phrase “all the feels”. It’s a great reminder that we can feel more than one thing at a time, even if we can’t tell what those feelings are in the moment. All too often we restrict ourselves from feeling so many of our natural human emotions. One of my favorite tools in my office is a drawing of a feelings wheel. My favorite is this one by @lindsaybraman.
I also love this one by the same artist.
As I’ve been staring at these images in my office for the past few weeks, I started thinking that this tool is not just helpful for identifying feelings, but it also reminds us that all of our feelings are of equal importance. Happy doesn’t take over 90 percent of the wheel, leaving only a small space for everything else.
Everything is given an equal amount of space on the page.
So many times I hear people say they don’t like the “negative” emotions they are feeling. I often challenge this idea and pose that none of our emotions are “negative” or “bad”. Sometimes we make choices when we are feeling certain emotions that have negative consequences for us and the people around us, but the feelings themselves are not indicators of our morality. I like to think of our emotions as clues into our personal experiences. Our feelings can tell us something about ourselves before our brains can catch up with words to describe those feelings. I like to think of myself as a detective who is using my feelings as clues to what is happening in my personal experiences. This can also be helpful in our relationships with others. If we view the emotions of others as clues to what they are experiencing, we stand a better chance of not taking things personally or out of context. We may also be able to help our friends in a more compassionate and authentic way.
So this week let’s all put on our emotional detective hats, grab our magnifying glasses and view our emotions as clues that are there to help us, not get in our way.
